I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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