you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
