I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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