i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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