We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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