cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
