Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
