i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
