Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
