He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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