I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
