She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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