real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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