Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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