bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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