Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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