Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
please don't ironically join a cult
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