i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
