You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize