drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think people are normalizing furries
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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