it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How does one acquire holy water?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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