Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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