I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
