hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
