It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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