I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
