I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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