I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
