did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just gift wrapped bread.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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