I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
