Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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