hotel room ftw
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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