Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize