those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
