i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
