Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
