so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
