we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
