I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
