In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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