You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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