I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize