I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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