I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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