Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
