Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
