ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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