I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
thus making me awesome and them whores
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
