SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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