that's an acceptable place to lick
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
