You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
