I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
