she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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