She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
