i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
