Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize