It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize