He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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